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19-Jan-2020 07:43

Want to ruin someone else’s relationship without the messy business of actually getting involved?Check out some of the worst and weirdest dating and sex apps out there – for when OKCupid just isn’t going to cut it.Apparently boasting hundreds of members at universities across the UK, skint students can sign up to be “sugar babies” to either “sugar mamas” or “sugar daddies”.In exchange for a relationship (80% of Seeking Arrangement dates involve sex, but the founder Brandon Wade denies it’s a form of prostitution), cash-strapped sugar babies are lavished with gifts and cash allowances which average at £5,000 a month. If you have trouble with giving out satisfying oral sex, you should probably lick your phone instead.After an hour your listing, photos, tagline and location all disappear.The only catch is that if you want to continue longterm with your private rendevouz via Pure, you’re going to have to pay.Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.

The main problem with the app is that joining the mile high club is probably a lot better as a fantasy than a reality – in reality your flight will just be full of hungover dehydrated adults, the occasional screeching stag or hen, and screaming children, which isn’t exactly the best pool to pick from. The app boasts that it will help you “bribe your way to a date”, by letting people exchange a bouquet of flowers, a romantic dinner, a shopping trip, or an outdoor adventure in exchange for a first date.Simply choose which of your friends you want the site to send you notifications about when there’s a change in their relationship status. For those who want to know what that swipe left actually means, Heavenly Sinful is a simple way to find out exactly what they’re looking for.Then, if your Facebook friend changes their relationship status, the website will send you an email, so you’ll be right in there straight away. As well as swiping left you can use the app to specify whether you’re feeling Heavenly (“Let’s go for a cute Frappuccino and take selfies”) or Sinful (“Hey, I would like to have sex with you”).A bit like how Jordan writes all her books, but for sex.

The website markets itself as “dating, done for you” and promises to land you eight dates per month, depending on how much you’re willing to fork out for the service.The main one being that you’re probably a fucking eagle-eyed psychopath to use it in the first place.



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