Now she is very religious, doesn’t have any friends, and is close to his family.The boyfriend has made little to no effort to be close to our family.— Worried Mom What you have here are two problems — one short-term problem (you and your extended family being hurt by your daughter’s absence at Thanksgiving), and one longer-term problem (your daughter dating a religious control freak from a cult-like family).Obviously, addressing the short-term problem is much easier than tackling the longer-term problem — you can tell your daughter that she to come with you on Thanksgiving and that it’s not up for debate; if she refuses, you can threaten to cut her off financially and even physically put her in the car and drive her to New York.Can I just tell her flat out no and that she has to come with us?(If it matters, we pay for her car insurance, health insurance, and phone.Of course, you DO want to keep her away from her boyfriend. Unfortunately, short of keeping your daughter locked in a room in your house, there’s not much you can do to keep her from seeing him.There’s not much you can do to lessen the grip he seems to have on her.
She still has plenty of time to explore this relationship and come to her senses before being brainwashed by her boyfriend and his religion.You have to trust that the foundation you’ve provided her, along with your love and comfort and acceptance of her, will be an ultimate guiding light, guiding her off a path of religious isolation and back into the world in which she was raised.Christian Jarrett Understanding jokes requires a certain amount of mental agility, psychologists tell us, because you need to recognise a sudden shift in meaning, or appreciate the blending of odd contexts that don’t normally go together.But doing all of this only solves the short-term problem of getting her to your extended family’s home for Thanksgiving.
It certainly doesn’t ensure that she will be pleasant company, and, more than likely, it will have a detrimental effect on your tackling the larger problem — the grip her control-freak boyfriend has on her.
Express to her your hurt feelings, but don’t tell her she can’t spend Thanksgiving with her boyfriend.