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08-Apr-2020 16:37

I’ve never tried it, but thousands of years of arranged marriages, across dozens of cultures, seem to suggest that something was (is) working. I never really came up with an answer to those questions. We fall in love at first sight, and then fall out of it. What happens when we see moments of chemistry (anger, frustration, passion, elation) as opportunities to grow?

They lean in and look around, like they’re telling you a secret. Turns out that looking at my “chemistry” with certain people gave me opportunities to find healing.

The problem with today’s dating world is that people are looking for that initial spark, the WOW when they first meet someone. R) but we both definitely felt a connection, after a couple of dates it fizzled. Now some people you’ll go out with and they’re a definite NO and that’s OK. You didn’t want to jump their bones but they were an interesting date.

I felt like I was hit by a meteor and I seriously thought I was going to pass out. I went on a date a couple months ago with a someone who I also had crazy chemistry with (not as much as Mr. Don’t fool yourself and don’t give up those potentially great people just because they didn’t blow you away the first date.

It gives instant chemistry, but it doesn’t give you a relationship.

Some people just have that charisma and energy about them and this impacts the effect they have on other people. If you’ve got it all then you’re lucky, but really, the pretty packaging will not always be there, you need the stability in order to have relationship success.

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This is the most exciting and hardest part of dating. Sometimes this happens on the first date and it can be interpreted as “love at first sight”. Or, you might meet someone and not feel those things but you have a lot in common.

Fews points about chemistry: Do you want to continue to receive the same results that you have experienced in the past?

You will, if you continue to approach life in the same way.

In both cases it didn’t translate into a lasting relationship … Everything else is the pretty packaging, including instant chemistry. Instant chemistry is all about the other person’s charisma and, of course, attraction. I think relationship success is two people who want to make it work. I was reading recently that a lot of arranged marriages end up more successful and fulfilling than traditional arrangements. It’s because they know they need to make it work so they do.

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Do you need INSTANT chemistry, no, not necessarily. If they don’t feel it then they’ll discount the person completely. I have met only a few people who I’ve had instant chemistry with and I thought for sure that they would be a long term item in my life, but, as it happened, chemistry wasn’t enough. The opposite is true, I’ve had some great relationships with people I didn’t feel instant chemistry with. Some guys I just “didn’t feel it” the first date, but I was still interested so I gave it a couple more dates and we definitely had something good and built some chemistry as we went along. Good relationships are the product of building a solid foundation of trust, love, honesty, respect, consideration, generosity, passion and attraction. Good relationships are two people walking in the same direction, together, side by side. So if people actually made an effort and let go of their unrealistic expectations perhaps there would be more successful relationship out there. I think that if you have attraction and a general interest in the person then I think you should give it a shot. But does that mean that “chemistry” doesn’t matter? The hardest part about “chemistry” as we understand it is that it often points us in the wrong direction.